Just want to meet someone

hi just thought i would make this post so ppl can talk about their problems in finding someone and how they go about searching for them personally i cant find anyone and its def not from lack of trying

Hey This is going to be a slightly excessive rant but oh well.. I've had a bit of a think about this topic. I find it pretty interesting when people, of any sexuality, comment on how they can't find people to be with. I've definitely done it a fair few times. Obviously there will be differences between people as to why they're having trouble, but there are also some things that people share in common. For example, I think it's very easy to fall into the trap of thinking you've tried everything you can, when you haven't.. I think there's always more to do (not that you should be doing this in the first place, but I'll get on to that later). I don't know your personal situation - how old you are, whether you are out and to what extent, whether you have any gay friends or know of friends who do, etc - but if someone really, REALLY wants to get out and meet people, 99% of the time they have the means to, and it's just a matter of whether the effort they have to put in to do that is worth it. A general concept that I think can be applied to a lot of patterns in behaviour is that for someone to do something, they a) have to sincerely want to do it, and b) the risk/cost/any possible downsides are not strong enough to deter them. So you have to ask yourself - are you REALLY wanting to meet guys? Are you ready for all of the consequences that will come with it? If you are, then you need to realise that there are plenty of ways to do it but you obviously have to invest an amount of time and energy, and probably various sorts of 'putting yourself out there' to get the ball rolling. This is starting to get a bit babbly so I'll move on to what I mentioned in the brackets about whether you should be actively looking for someone in the first place.

People always say things like "when you stop looking for something, that's when you find it" etc etc. I think that's a little romantic in a way but I agree with not actively looking for people to be involved with - and unfortunately it's particularly easy for people in small inbred towns cough*canberra*cough and people with a drastically reduced pool of potential interests, ie gays/lesbians, to do that. My opinion about this has a lot to do with my personal experiences with looking for people; it's funny because I've always known I prefer to date people who I develop a stable friendship with first, yet the first opportunity I got after I decided I was going to get serious about meeting girls, I let the fact that I was looking for someone to be with take control of how I handled the whole thing. Looking back now I know that there were a lot of things that were out of my hands that contributed to the problems that arose, but I know it was at best unhelpful and at worst very destructive for me to be in the mindset of "I want to be in a relationship with a girl" rather than "I want to be in a relationship with THIS girl". Essentially, my rational judgement of the person I was pursuing went out the window because I was so intent on being with a girl. So in summary (): if you really want to meet people, you will - in good time. But try not to let that push you in to getting involved with people you normally wouldn't.