Hi all! I'm really glad I found this board!
I'm 17, female, go to the ANU, and very strongly think I am gay, though I'm not entirely sure and am still thinking about my attractions. I'd really love to interact with anyone friendly, as I don't have any gay friends and would just love to talk to someone about anything really! I've even considered introducing myself to a few people around campus that I know who are gay, but my lack of confidence always gets the better of me!
My sexuality is like this; since I was about 12 I've always thought guys were attractive, but that girls were attractive as well, even more so. I've had crushes on both guys and girls, but always more-so with girls. Then when I was about 14 I realised that although I thought guys were cute, I would never be intimate with them in any way ever (I don't find the idea of sex with guys appealing whatsoever). I just didn't feel that way, and found myself becoming more attracted to girls, and realising that I could only be intimate with them. Now that I'm 17 I feel this way more than ever, and just want to be intimate with girls. But! I still find the occasional guy cute, but don't want to have any sexual relations with them. Am I bi-sexual? I'm not sure at all... hence why I'm still thinking about my attractions !! It's all so confusing haha.
HA! I'm EXCATLY like that. Only from a gay guys perspective. To be honest, I identify myself as gay if anyone asks, or if I choose to tell someone. It saves them the whole spiel, and confusion which comes with it, of how I really like guys yet I check out girls too. Yet, somehow girls can have their own glamour in their own way. Is this some small sexual appeal, or isn't it? What do I have to compare it to? So, I've long since decided, mostly for sake of getting it off my mind, that I can appreciate the appeal and good looks of girls. I look at them and appeciate their sense of style. I'd look at their chest, though, and I would WITHOUT A DOUBT feel nothing
When I was 12 to 13 or so, I used to find women sexually attractive, with the breasts and all. It appeared that I went under a minor transformation through the whole puberty stage (raising the question of nature or nurture, I know), or perhaps it was coincidence that it was through puberty. Up until 15 and even 16 I was totally bi. Women had "big titties" (a real positive thing back then), and men had "f**kin' hot abs" (or something). And then, come somewhere between 16 and halfway through 17 years, I lost interest in "big titties". IN FACT, they gross me out completely now! But guys still have "f**kin' hot abs" along with "f**kin' hot pecs", and I can appreciate their curves and bumps and lumps and all the guy things.
Still, I question myself occasionally...am I slightly bi? Bi-curious? Then I think, ew no! Big titties too gross. Vagina!!!? Also particuarly awful.
Oh! and is Bit Bent still on? I'd really love to go to one
Monday: Belconen Youth Centre
: 6pm - 8pm
Thursday: Woden Youth Centre
: 5pm - 6.30pm
At the youth centres, they have brochures for Bit Bent, so you can pop in one day and grab one to find out what it's about. Also, you can find plenty of first time experiences here on Qnet. I have one myself. I'd link it up, but I'm more or less NOW rushing for work!
Hope my experience with CONFUSING SEXUALITY helps. For you, just think of penis. It SHOULD gross you out. CHRIS!