Not So Funny Jokes

Yes...so...since I came out ONLY to ONE friend the other day I've been a bit sensitive to gay jokes.  My family was telling a joke that involved a street in a gay part of Sydney.  Apparently this is a famous enough street, and well known as a gay part of Sydney.  Let's call this street 'X'.  And as the joke goes: 

If you walk along street X and you see a wallet on the ground, it is well advised that you do not bend over to pick it up.

I've heard jokes very similar to it (sorry if you didn't get it, but neither am I explaining it!).  And I know that it's just a joke and all, and that's the kind of joke that people laugh at in relation to gay people, but...I personally find it insulting!  I mean, people DO NOT (or do they ) go around and, er, do things like that!  And then at the end of the joke my dad says, 'Unfortunately it's true in some places.'  And I just beat him down and say, 'Oh no it isn't!  No one would ACTUALLY do that!'  But then he explains that, well, in jail... and yeah, that sounds kind of scary.

But onto the subject:  I find I can't appreciate jokes that insult gay people in anyway anymore.  So...did anyone else find that once they'd come out they were more sensitive to gay jokes?  Or did people just not say them around you?

sorry if this isn't what you were hoping for
I'm actually LESS sensitive to gay jokes now that I am out. I find talking about anything to do with gay people is so much easier with someone who knows you are out. I freak out whenever my dad mentions gay people lol (i haven't come out to him just to clarify).

Y'know how a lot of people use the word 'gay' to mean bad or shit. My friends used to say this heaps (including myself) but after coming out I thought maybe it might offend others (though it doesn't offend me in the slightest.. dunno why) so now instead we say 'American'
I realise that could also be offensive but if an American walks up to me and says 'That offends me' then I'll turn around and say 'Well when you use Gay in the same context it offends me' and then see if they have anything to say

Okay a bit off topic kinda.. but I have heard some pretty funny gay jokes.. and i've heard some pretty funny racist, sexist jokes and plenty of hilarious religeous jokes. I think all people get offended over certain jokes.. it just happens.. I guess all you can do is not laugh and don't tell the joke to people

<3 Al

I became very sensitive to people using gay in derogatory tone. As in "That's so gay!" meaning "That's so stupid". But i have pretty much learned to deal with it these days. I just ignore it.

As for the jokes, I just try to take them like I used to take the blonde jokes (before i dyed my hair, hehe). But I do tell people if they are going too far, or if it does offend me.

Hey Music and all,

I guess, sometimes it's funny, and sometimes it's not. Depends on many factors: the joke in question, the people, the context, how it's told etc. To my mind, if any one of those conditions isn't right, then a joke can go turn offensive.

Sometime, when I been insulted by a joke, I try to be sober about it, and tell people why it's not funny. For instance, the X Street joke... I would have been okay with it, but not too impressed. But if someone then said "yeah, it's funny because it's true" or some such, I'd point out that MF rape happens too (and more often, so I believe) but that's certainly not a matter for comedy... so why is it okay when it's guys involved? Would someone make a comparable joke about miniskirts and dark alleys? No - it would be unacceptable.

 See, my problem with the X Street joke kicks in when someone ties it back to reality.

But, things to take into account: people often tell jokes when they're uncomfortable, so avoid lashing out, and try not to get offended. Also, some bad jokes are hilarious, but only when told by the right people (for instance... the aristocrats  ) and sometimes - through no fault or bad intention - someone can accidentally make a good joke bad just because they lack timing or the comedic flair. I think we've all done that... made a gag that was in poor taste. I have, and regreted it.

Racism gets me too, like that; to my discredit I have not always stood up against it, or walked away from the person making the comment, jibes or cracks. I've actually been thinking about that a lot today... it usually slips by me when someone says "I'm not racist/homophobic/sexist, but... [and then launches into a slur]". It's hard to call them out, and say, "actually, you are racist/phobe/sexist".

I'm going to watch out for that. Not being a moral policeman or anything; just comments like that bother me, usually afterwards.

I often have to sit through somewhat annoying comments in the dining hall where I live. There was one that wasn't really a joke, but went something like "... and there were these two gay guys at [school in Sydney] whose last names were Dickson and Cox". They all found this hilarious, but the problem for me is that I have a last name that is, well, somewhat unfortunate given that I'm gay, so I was sort of in the same predicament as the people who were being joked about. There have also been times when I've heard people saying stuff like "and there were these two guys walking through Civic... and THEY WERE HOLDING HANDS!" as though the apocalypse is imminent. I thought that at university most people might have been a little more mature than Year 8 students, but often it would appear not.

LOL People get really weird about calling things "gay" around me. it makes me laugh and then i just say do you mean "that's fucking gay?"

If I really gave a shit, I would be more insulted by them not saying it thinking it would offend me. But I don't really care, I find it kind of cute. I don't care but I don't say "fuck this is gay" anymore, but i think that's just because i've matured i give proper descriptions, such as "fuck this is fucking boring" "fuck this is shit" "fuck that guy is annoying." lol

Mmm, I don't care about people saying something is gay.  I don't generally say it myself, I tend to stick to things like Satan's phrases listed above 

However I have a friend who says things are gay all the time, and the funny thing is she's really sensitive about saying it around me, even though I don't care.  She'll say 'oh, that's so gay!' and then see me and be like 'oh my god I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have said that' looking all horrified and such.  That just makes me laugh even more!

And with the jokes. . . well some gay jokes are funny and some aren't.  Just as alwest said, there are some really funny racist, sexist, whatever-ist jokes out there.  I personally like 'why does the bride wear white? because the dishwasher should match the fridge!'

I think it was Billy Connoly who said there's nothing more frightening than a gay man without a sense of humour.

Saying that though, there are plenty of gay jokes that are just plain derogatory and they're insulting because you can tell the people saying it believe them to be true.  When I was walking the Overland Track in Tasmania we kept on meeting up with a group of gay guys each day, and some of my friends were always talking about them, making jokes and seemed somewhat obsessed as if it was such a huge thing for there to be a group of gay guys not in Prahan or Kings Cross and actually doing things that 'normal people' do.  That was a bit tiresome, and biting your tounge for so long can hurt after a while.

I'm fine with people saying "that's so gay" though.  It's just an expression.  I would see it as unreasonable for certain committed christians to demand that people stop saying "Jesus Christ" as a curse word, and so I couldn't really expect people to stop saying gay for similar reasons.  There's heaps of expressions like it - "you're such a girl" is still an insult to most guys, even though people saying it aren't always sexist or intend to mean that being a girl is a bad thing.

It's not that I don't have a sense of humour. The jokes can be funny up to a point, but the ones I was talking about before just weren't even funny to me, especially given the sort of comments I had to cope with at school about my surname, when the "popular" people had somehow decided I was gay years before I came out. Having said that, I don't mind people saying "that's so gay" - I found that that was used so commonly by people at school that I became desensitised to it in the same way that I did with swear words. I don't use it personally though.

lol yes i do gay jokes.

I mean I was at cube a while ago and a friend was there (he's straight) so i pretended to drop my wallet and i went up behind him and pretended to ass rape him ;p he was kind of scared of me the rest of the night though...

lol

My life became a whole lot easier when I learnt to laugh at myself!

Because of my heritage, I went through all sorts of phases with my humour and how seriously I took like. My political correctness phase was rather amusing for all concerned. I also went to the other end of the spectrum where everything was fair game without much thoughyt involved.

Now I think I have the right balance. Its about time and place and sensitivity to others (and a sense of reason on the part of present company). If someone makes a joke, I generally laugh the loudest and the longest, particularly if it concerns me. In the proceeding moment I assess if its offensive to anyone, including me, and ask myself if I will get anything out of making a scene if it is. I can't stand people who use a moral uprighteousness to go off at every opportunity. Generally bigots and PC dictators are very set in their ways so unless there is a genuine necessity to chastise someone, I will let things slide with the thought in my own head that said person is perpetuating their own sad and lonely existence by using pseudo-intellectualism and conservative politics as a cover for their own self-consciousness.

Pick the conumdrum here!! lmao