Let's Get Some Girls in Here!

I agree with the whole there is no "too young". I think that sexuality is fluid. I read that on the net somewhere once and I agree with it completely. What you feel is what you feel, but it doesn't mean it's set in concrete and that you can't ever ever ever change again. I mean, change is a part of life is it not? So what if you realise at a young age who you are attracted to? You don't hear many people say "you're to young" to early teens in hetrosexual relationships? I "discovered" at the age of 13, but felt i knew long before that. And I agree the coming out process is a long one. Everyone thought it was just a stage, a phase. While I am still attracted to women, and they are definitely my preferance it seems redundant to refuse the possiblity of a relationship with a guy in the future. I'm not entirely sure if that was cohesive, or made sense, but thats my 2 cents anyway.

Yeah, what you said.

Im just attracted to gals, full stop. The idea of 'being' with a guy actually makes me a little bit physically queasy. No offence to the all the lovely boys out there but, you know. Now dont get me wrong, everytime i go out with my disgustingly straigh friends (lol) i get close to a guy and usually hook up with them. Its the done thing. If i didnt do it, im sure several drunken comments ive made would make them a tad suspicious. The thing is, i am always REALLY drunk if i hook up with a guy and i suppose the reason im so 'meh' about it is because it actually means nothing to me. Its simply a ruse designed to draw the attention away from me drunkenly asking my pal Kat as to whether she thinks that (hot) gal dancing over there might be gay. Subtle, i know lol.
ANYHOO i sort of went off on a tangent there, i spose the point im trying to make is that while sexuality may be fluid for some, im just gay. Like, really gay. Disgustingly so, infact. And so damn proud 

I always knew i was different, waaay back in primary school i felt like there was something setting me apart from the other girls. I suspected i was a bit partial towards the gals and i was petrified i was gay. I remember thinking; "Oh god, why me?" I couldnt believe that out of all the girls in the world, I had to be one of the gay ones. Although I am proud to say that my first real kiss was when i was 11 with a 12 yr old gal, it was so bad, teeth everywhere. But still, I would have done anything to be straight and the same as the others. Stupid, i know. Anyway i always thought i liked boys too, and, like everyone else, i had about 10 boyfriends in my early highschool years, but the thing was, i was convinced that i was totally in love with them untill i started dating them, and i felt all wierd and gross, like it was unnatural. I just assumed (or hoped) i was a giant commitment-phobe. It wasnt untill i was 15 (and attending an all gals school LOL) that i finally admitted to myself i was gay. I was terrified i would be discovered so i alienated every gal who was under suspicion of being gay. Sadly, i had been so influenced by my straight friends that i though that sleeping with a guy was the most important thing. Idiot.
It wasnt untill i came out to my best gal pal at the beginning of this year that i finally let go of boys all together, although i sometimes find myself looking at a guy and thinking; "damn, boy, you are fiiiine". It's like an instinctive reaction, on account of the fact that ive been faking be straight my entire life. Yesterday i was going through the posters in the music shop in and came across a Johnny Depp poster i was all "HOT" until i realised that, oh yeah, im like gay. lol. Its a very bad habit. My friends are all convinced that im in love with the dude who plays batman in Batman Begins. Ew. Lol.
Ok wow hope you didnt fall asleep somewhere in the middle of that puddle of nonsensical twaddle. Completely off topic but i enjoyed writing it so, you know, bite me 

i spose the point im trying to make is that while sexuality may be fluid for some, im just gay. Like, really gay

Oh don't get me wrong, I can't see myself being attracted to a guy ever ever again, and I feel I am very very very gay myself. The notion of being with a boy does not appeal to me AT ALL. But I can't honestly know that it would never happen.

This is not meant to be a rebuttal to you, BlueCorona, just a comment!  I think it's perfectly reasonable that you're "just gay" and I don't begin to pretend I have any idea about how the whole who-we-love thing works.  But it just made me think about how recently it was that I was so inflexibly positive that I was 100% gay.  I was defensively gay, almost.  The mere thought of men made me physically ill, to be honest.  I couldn't possibly conceive of ever loving a man, it was ludicrous...

I still feel that the odds are highly against me ending up with a boy, but a lot has happened to me in a short amount of time, and I'm realising that the reason I didn't want to be with a boy had a lot to do with unresolved issues... I've now sorted out most of those issues, and well, I do like boys.  But what is so amazingly awesome about it, for me, is that I still prefer girls.  I had a girlfriend who I am positive was actually straight - she just dated women because some horrible things had happened to her as a child, and she was scared of men.  Once she worked through that fear she realised she could actually be with men, after all - and in fact preferred men.  So it was important for me to know that I am in fact bent towards the ladies because I like girls and not because I hate men.

The whole experience has made me a lot more open minded, I think.  But I do know people who have just "always been that way" for no particular "reason".  I'd like to think that everyone is different.  I hate all this boxing of people... it was important for me to work out how I felt and why, because I felt like I needed to understand myself better before I could accept myself.  But I don't think some generalised definition or theory of cause-and-effect or whatever is in anyway helpful or necessary - everyone has their own needs and their own identities, and what's true for one person... well, you know...

I agree with what ladymagpie said that bad experiences CAN put you off one sex or the other. But thats probably not that common. Alot of people are just gay! And if you imbrace that identity it means you dont like the opposite sex.

I like the idea of queer, that is fluid sexuality and gender identity. So not only is there continuums of gender and sexuality but you move about the continuums throughout your life. I think that kind of idea makes sense. I like to say i'm queer.

I think queer is definitely the least problematic term. *embraces it*

i dont like 'lez' that gets to me anything else im fine with but 'lez' sounds so bleh but i would prefer to just be called kelly 

i dont like 'lez' that gets to me anything else im fine with but 'lez' sounds so bleh but i would prefer to just be called kelly 

I think it depends on who is doing the calling.  I refer to myself as a dyke a lot because I find the word rolls nicely off the tongue, and I find that people who are uncomfortable with me find the term uncomfortable, and people who know and like me don't - so it's kinda like a filter ^_^ One of my friends refers to me as "The Lesbian", which would really piss me off coming from anyone else, but from him I find it quite endearing - I guess you'd have to know him.  I don't think there are any circumstances that I find the word "lesbo" ok.  I hate it, I find it terribly derogatory for some reason, even if a friend used it I think I would be offended. 

But you know, I think it's more to do with how a word is said than the word itself.  There are names that my friends call me which makes me feel closer to them - I mean, you can only really get away with bagging someone out when you're good mates - but from a stranger or someone I didn't like it would be an insult.  I refer to my straight friends as "breeders"; but I wouldn't call just any het stranger that! 

But I think I agree with you, Kelly: sometimes just your name can be quite nice ^_^

I agree with you ladymagpie... i like the sound of dyke. I read in the paper the other day that the work 'dykon' is now in the oxford dictionary and it means 'dyke icon' or lesbian icon! I thought that was pretty cool!

Yeah, dyke can work quite well  I guess it's kinda like 'nigger' in that way that unless used by the people it's describing it can be quite offensive (has someone already said that?) but otherwise I find it quite amusing to use. . . more so when describing others though 

This thread hasn't had interest in ages.. which is a little sad because it seems like a good one.

My first experience with a girl was when i was 15. had broken up with my long term boyfriend. well.. he broke up with me. because i was being weird. we hade been together for over a year. kissing was as far as we had gotten. i COULDN'T bring myself to let him touch me..

Had a sleepover with a friend of mine.. turns out i COULD let HER touch me..

Ahahaha... nice 

i havent had a sexual experience with a girl (i am bi) and i would like to ... only problem is that i have a boyfriend and i dont know any people that would help me with that ...

Hey,
I'm still on my V plates with women, but I'm so self conscious i dont know if i'll ever be with one. Which is a bummer since im gay... haha
but i think that it's all about how you feel with that person. You need to feel comfortable with them and most importantly yourself.
LOL i cant talk im probably the most self conscious girl on this planet so im working on it.
How did any of you guys get over being self conscious? and most importantly how have you guys found girlfriends??