How do you feel about bein queer

when i find a bf then i will come out

well you have one jeff so come out.

when i find a bf then i will come out

well you have one jeff so come out.

not a real one....

What does that mean?

How do you have a non-real boyfriend?

NOT A REAL BOYFRIEND? ok...im gonna skirt around that one lol....anyways...people feel different about being queer where they are, in the country its very crap, coz everything is very heterosexual centered and eccentric or different ppl are ostrisized and outcasted. No-one has to rush and tell anyone, until they are ready...''Coming out'' is a big thing...regretably i was forced to reveal my homosexuality to my folks, when my mum found something on my computer...no privcy does that....but then again life goes on....no matter what...above all things....be true to yourself, and as hard as it may be...dont lie to those you love.. *blinks*whoa! this is getting deep lol....what im trying to get across is...there is nothing wrong with being queer....and nothing wrong with taking your time to tell people...but there is with lying and pretending to be someone your not....

- tod xxx
ps sorry my spelling is atroscious

I'm very happy with being lesbian. I come from a network of friends who ALL seem to be gay or bisexual! Seriously, ALL of them. My mum is a really accepting, left wing, down-to-earth kind of person who was only too hapy for me (well...kind of...i told her at an INCREDBLY bad moment about 2 months ago and it hasnt really come up in convosation...but i know she loves me and that she's okay with it...i'm just a little unconfortable to bring it up, and i think she can sense that)

I would never change...I'm happy with my girlfriend and my life. All is good.

Peace,
>esp.

I really have issues with the whole 'coming out' thing.  As I am not really part of a big bi/lesbian community, its not really a massive part of my lifestyle. (sounds like a contradiction, doesn't it?) I just think of it as the way I am, and that there's a lot more to me than just that fact. If people ask, or it comes up in conversation then I'll tell people I'm bi, but as i've said previously - no heterosexual person has to 'come out', so why should we?

well its a mixed feeling. I like being queer, personally. I just don't know how to come out to my parents about it. One of course, my dad is a homophobe which doesnt help. when ever the word gay is said he has a weird look in his eyes. I don't live with him anymore, so i don't know if his feeling has changed or what. I think my mum will be cool with it, well I hope anyway. One of my friends is also a homophobe, and hates gay guys, but he is in love with lesbians (u should see the porn on his phone). My brother is a complete ass, and i got a shirt with a bit of pink on it once and he goes 2 me " pink??? U F***** fag! Hes a real ass hole.

I hated myself for so long about being gay, then I accepted it, and went throught the battle of should I tell my parents or not. 

My father was, as I saw him, a complete homophobe, and he still is, and my mother was just an accepting person as most mothers are.

When I told my parents, my father said I dont know wether to kiss you or hug you or shake your hand.  It was his way of making light of an uncomfortable situation, my mum cried.

I must admit that christmas eve is not the best time to reaveal your sexuality to your parents, but when it needs to be said it will come out.

Its a couple of years on, and its as if nothing was ever said, they know I am gay and love me.  But I feel as though I am still in the closet as we never discuss things.

Finding an equal playing field is never easy.

All I can really say is, you will know when to come out, it will never feel right, but there will be a driving force to just say "I AM GAY"  and all will work out sooner, or later, one way or another.

Its only life, and its yours.  Reach out and experience it as you are.

BE WHO YOU AND SAY WHAT YOU FEEL BECAUSE THE PEOPLE WHO MIND DONT MATTER AND THE PEOPLE WHO MATTER DONT MIND...

 

That's my signature! Dang; now I have to change.

oh the age old problem of coming out... its a big problem for some ppl tho, and for others they are fully ok wit it all. my mum has caught me with another chick, yet still thinks i'm straight - talk about head it the sand, and my dad just doesn't want to know...i don't think i ever learnt how to time thigs well - i broke up wit my BF, and the next day i told him i was bi....he's my best mate now, but looking back on it all it would have been alot eaiser if i timed things well...
its all about being comfortable wit who you are, and not caring about what other people thing.
smile - take it easy - live your own life.

when i find a bf then i will come out

So long as you don't bring him along.  I think both your parents and future bf would be rather uncomfortable in a situation that is uncomfortable enough already, for some at least.

How do you feel about being queer?  Thats something you sould think about before telling your parents.

I didn't plan at all when I came out.  Not that it went badly, but my mum had many questions that I just didn't think about before hand.  Like what do you want me to say to your siblings/relatives?   

When I was younger I never really had a problem with myself being queer.  It was always what others would think, not what I thought.  And for some strange reason I had this idea I would always be wanting what I couldn't have.  Not true. It's like a poem I read, the problem is in other people's minds.


I talk too much 

Being queer is fine - i've always been ok with it. In fact one day i woke up and i realised i'd been bi for the last year almost - and not done anything about it!! So for me its about what others will think, like my family, friends and everyone.
I guess it would have helped if you were prepared for everything, like your mum asking all the questions - but it's hard to prepare for something you've never done before. So i'll take some advice and be very prepared for everything possible when and if i finally tell my family.

It was super easy for me. My mum is a supporter of the LGBT community at the ANU, she's a volunteer 'safe person' for queer students/workers to come and talk to about the issues they're having. Anyway, after the first meeting she came home and just asked me. I'd basically let her know already through talking about homosexuality issues, etc, so it wasn't a big shock to her. She was really cool about me being bi, and she was the one to tell my dad (he's never really said anything to me). Other than them, however, hardly any of my family knows but most of my friends do.

I guess I got lucky, but I know some other kids whose parents freaked. One of the mums said that her daughter couldn't be gay because 'how could she know, she's too young to understand!' and said she was really disappointed. That, I think, is a pretty shitty reaction for a parent to have...

So, what i'm trying to say, is that coming can go either way. And I agree with lovedirt - why should we have to? It's no one's business but mine and my partners! No one asks hetero kids if they're straight or expects them to "come out"- so why should queer ones?

Lauri.