A lot of gay men, especially in the larger cities, have died from AIDS. Some men have lost their lovers and their entire friendship and personal support networks. On the other hand, some gay men don't know anyone who is HIV-positive or has died from AIDS. However, the entire gay community has felt the effects of HIV: it has brought a lot of grief; it has changed the way we have sex; and it has changed our identities - the ways we see ourselves and the way others see us. We have also focussed a lot of energy and resources onto our fight against HIV/AIDS and have achieved a great deal.

Recently, new and improved treatments for HIV and a better scientific understanding of how HIV works in the body have changed the lives of positive people and gay men. Even though the results of the new treatments are promising and have improved many people's health and well-being, it's still too early to know how effective the treatments will be in the long term. It appears that the earlier you start treatment, the more effective the treatments are. The treatments (also called 'combination therapies') often have side-effects ranging from mild to severe. They also require you to stick to rigid pill-taking schedules that can intrude upon day-to-day living. (Many of these drugs have to be taken at the same times every day, and some of them have to be taken several times a day in order to work). Also, some research shows that the treatments fail in up to 40% of people taking them (largely because the regimes are difficult to adhere to). There are lots of things to consider when starting new treatments and the decision to start is not always easy. Some positive people choose not to go on combination therapies.

Most HIV-positive person will tell you that living with HIV is not something they would wish on anyone. However, in spite of that, meeting the challenges and uncertainties that being HIV-positive brings is often a truly life affirming road to travel. If you are HIV-positive it can be invaluable to find support through meeting other positive people. Your local AIDS Council or PLWHA (People Living With HIV/AIDS) organisation can help put you in touch.

For guys who are just coming out into the gay community, the idea of meeting someone with HIV can be daunting. It's important to remember that it's okay to feel confronted by, and/or uncertain about, what living with HIV means. Most of us who have friends and lovers with a different HIV status to our own have gone through that too, and it has been through contact with others, asking questions and being open about our uncertainty that we have been able to develop satisfying, intimate relationships and friendships.

With the advances in treatments and a general sense in the gay community that HIV is not as overwhelming as it was at the beginning of the epidemic, it's becoming less and less central to our identity. Conservative mainstream media used to (and sometimes still do) talk about gay men as if AIDS was our only defining feature. There's a lot more to us than that - a glance at the Sydney Gay & Lesbian Mardi Gras Parade will tell you that. But it still is important to be informed and up-to-date about HIV, and to make sure that we reduce the number of infections occurring amongst gay and bisexual men by practising safe sex and safe drug use. Last year about 500 infections occurred amongst gay men in Australia - through casual sex, as well as through sex inside relationships.